I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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