I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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