No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize