next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
