I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
