sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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