Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
