; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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