If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have aggressive nipples.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
