We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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