I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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