How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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