You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
