mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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