Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
