so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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