Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
