Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
