Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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