10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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