Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm too high and old for this...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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