She went from zero to smokin in five shots
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
