Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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