my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
