I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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