lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
