It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Randomize
