this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
