butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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