I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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