I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he thought i was a dude.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
