I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
