i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
