PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize