I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
