Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize