Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
