Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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