You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
