New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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