And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
