Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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