I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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