i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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