Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
