I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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