i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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