Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
