just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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