fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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