apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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