nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
