One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
