You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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