i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize