Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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