She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
