I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Boobs speak an international language.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
