shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
