is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
