dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
