some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize